I don't know how to start this essay because beauty is one of those tricky words that no two people will define in the same way.

I don’t know how to start this essay because beauty is one of those tricky words that no two people will define in the same way. As an actress, my physical appearance is under constant scrutiny and judgment. There are those who like what they see, and those who don’t. Making the mistake of going into chat rooms after the first season of my show aired, the first entry I read was, “I like the show, but the lead actress is so ugly. I don’t know. It just bothers me. Does this bother anyone else?” (Ouch!) So, yeah… I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. Still to some, “even” at 41, I am considered beautiful. If you’re interested,

This is what I have come to believe about beauty:

  1. There is a myth that beauty fades. I don’t believe that to be true. External youth fades, but not beauty. My mother is one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She has had some wrinkles since she was 18 and now has many more. But there isn’t a person who meets her that doesn’t comment on how beautiful she is.

I have stopped many women in their 50s, 60s, 70s, hell, all ages to tell them how beautiful they are. Usually they’re confident, put together and all in all beautiful. Other times, they never knew or maybe they forgot how gorgeous they are.Let’s stop perpetuating and confirming the idea that beauty fades. It doesn’t have to.

  1. Never ever utter the words “I’m so old.” Not jokingly, not seriously, not self-deprecatingly. Your brain and the cells in your body start to believe this and start to go to work to make that true. The subconscious has a power that we shouldn’t take lightly. I remember when a fellow actress and friend of mine- a gorgeous, bright, glowing beauty – turned to me on her 21st birthday and said, “I feel so old now!” At 21! I stopped her right there and offered her this opinion: Every birthday we have is a gift and an honor and one more trip around the sun. We should be so blessed as to have a birthday every year. This has nothing to do with beauty. (Note: my Boyfriend and just about every guy I know has a crush on Helen Mirren.) Stop saying these awful, destroying words – they perpetuate a lie that is damaging to your mind, body, and soul. Literally.
  1. Love and delight in women. All women of all ages. There will always be a new beautiful crop of young women. Always. Until the end of time. Delight in them and in their youth. Delight in their giggles, in the attention they get. We’ve all been there before and now it’s their turn. We have beauty and the wisdom that comes from maturity. They have the beauty and innocence that comes from youth. It breaks my heart when I see women being bitchy to each other or competing for the attention of men. We are sisters. How can we possibly expect men to give us the respect we deserve in life and in business when we don’t even give it to each other? Stop having anything but love for other women.

And while we are on the subject of love, nothing makes a woman more beautiful than the glow of unconditional love. I am not only talking about the love you have for your romantic partner, family member, or friend. I’m talking about unconditional love for all people (and even all things). It’s a hard thing to practice, but what that essence, that sensibility, does to your whole body, especially your face…. no amount of fillers and Botox can compete with it. Sure, they can help you battle signs of diminishing youth, but don’t forget that youth and beauty are not the same.

 



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  1. Shannon O says:

    I may be late to the party on reading this post, but it came at the right time. Thank-you. This is eloquent and uplifting.

  2. Leanne P says:

    Well said, as an “older” woman I do feel that we get more beautiful as we age. We are more confident and should embrace our bodies and looks, we have earned them!!!

  3. Pamela A says:

    Delightful to read a piece that addresses the reality of beauty… the beauty of the soul, and not the face, not the body. Beauty encompasses all of that. If we but look, we can find something to admire about even the most unappealing people. After all, isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder? Then it would follow that what might not appeal to one person certainly could to another, to many others.

  4. Sherry T says:

    You were beautiful when I met you (muffled number) years ago and you get better and better. Inside. Outside. You are one fiercely talented, smart, beautiful soul. Bad.Ass.

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